Who are you? What do you do?
Normally when someone asks the question, they want to know what you do to make money. I am one of the lucky ones; I earn a living doing what I love.
My day job is terrifyingly similar to the exploits of Edna Freebottom minus the katana and the literary monsters, who likely are all in my head. I feel more at home in a library than any other indoor space in the world (some of my younger students are convinced the library is my home. They're shocked when they run into me anywhere else, even roaming the halls.)
The writing bit is a compulsion. I need to tell stories: it's the only way to be rewarded for blatantly lying, so I channel my superpowers of deception for good.
Of course, every artful liar knows that the secret is mixing a little truth in with the fiction.