Oh, I've tried opening that wardrobe door
But it remains an unremarkable closet of clothes
(Besides, I refuse to join in a magical war).
And as everyone already knows
Chasing white rabbits down into their holes
Only ends covered in dirt from hair to your toes.
Our mundane world lacks mystical goals—
No quests to complete nor Sphinx to outwit—
The most vexing creatures? Mere internet trolls.
Anxious to board at Platform 9-and-a-bit?
I’ve hunted giants, elves, any peculiar thing
I’ve a wand of my own, but no success with it.
Never discovered a letter, button, or ring
Never traveled by carpet, tornado, or wing
So I sit—and I wait—for the mermaids to sing.